I’d like to add that we were taught about the Suffragettes and the Suffragists in school, but we were taught that is completely unarguable that the Suffragettes did any good at all, but instead harmed the cause. On the other hand the peaceful and non-antagonistic Suffragists did everything and were the sole reason why we’re allowed to vote. Obviously both movements had their own methods and they both influenced womens rights in their own ways and to paint a picture like that is quite worrying.
This is bad and you should feel bad
So feeling the need to vent some thoughts, the whole GSM thing pissed me off. And this has been brewing for some time anyway. So here goes for a wall of text and TW for mentions of rape, homophobia, and sexism.
I’m 27 years old. I realized I was a lesbian less than a year ago. Before then I…
…your experience is not everyone’s experience
Just like some people go through a phase of thinking they’re bisexual as a stepping stone to coming to terms with their homosexuality, some people think they’re asexual and aren’t.
Many people who initially id as bi are in fact bi. Many people who initially id as ace are in fact ace. You were not either. This does not mean nobody is.
THIS THIS ALL OF THIS
Oh, and also, OP?
A made-up thing.
(well, no more than any other sexuality. I firmly believe all sexualities are artificial constructs)
Demisexuality is not just about “saving yourself for some special someone”. Demisexuality isn’t actually about that at all. Demisexuality is about being attracted to someone romantically before you can be attracted to them physically (which, fyi, is true of me, before you start claiming that that’s an excuse - I can find someone aesthetically pleasing, I can acknowledge that they might be attractive from an objective standpoint, but I have never been physically/sexually attracted to anyone who I didn’t first want a relationship with. I joke about being sexually attracted to eg. Naya Rivera, but the truth is that, while I think she’s very beautiful… I don’t want sex with her). Demisexuality is about genuinely, honestly not being sexually attracted to people because of their bodies. I’m not some virginal Madonna who slots into the systematic erasure of feminine sexuality. I like sex. I enjoy sex. I’m just not sexually attracted to anybody - male or female - who I’m not already romantically attracted to. That doesn’t even mean I’m only sexually attracted to people I’m dating. It means I want to be friends with people first, I want to date them second, and only with those two wants already in place, and a decent understanding of their personality and mind, can I plausibly progress to wanting to bump uglies with them.
This has actually been a problem for me in the past, since I only ever become sexually attracted to people I’m friends with, and until a couple of years ago, I was majorly squicked by the thought of dating friends. (Turns out maybe I should’ve listened to my squick on that one. Go figure)
I refer you to this page, and this quote in particular: “When describing demisexuality as an orientation to sexuals, sexuals often mistake it as an admirable choice rather than an innate orientation. Demisexuals are not choosing to abstain; they simply lack sexual attraction until a close relationship is formed.”
And I would like to ask you to please refrain from calling my sexuality a “ridiculous label”. Given that I can’t remotely understand gender or even attraction based on sex, I could just as easily call homo- or heterosexuality ridiculous labels. But I don’t, because I appreciate that just because I don’t understand something, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
Thank you, and fuck you very much.
Guess what, asshole? Two can play at this “false identity” game.
[snip too long]
Furthermore, in no way is asexuality an oppression. I don’t care how the fuck you define it, but being someone who is not sexually active is actually the desired society in this fucked up world. In this sexist world, women…
I, too, used to think I was bisexual. When I found out that non-binary people exist—-around the same time I realized I was a genderqueer myself—-I started to identify as pansexual. Later, I began a relationship with someone, and somewhere down the line, I started to become significantly distressed because of my lack of sexual performance (as did he). For a good chunk of time, I was extremely depressed, and I obsessively researched any sexual disorder I could think of. I had considered that I might be asexual, but I didn’t think I was because I didn’t know that asexuals could be romantically and aesthetically attracted to people, and I didn’t know gray-A people existed. When I finally did turn to AVEN for answers, I gradually realized that I was definitely gray-A and panromantic. Although I liked sex, my problems stemmed from the fact that I wasn’t having sex for the same reasons that sexuals do, so my partner would often wonder if he wasn’t attractive enough, and I just thought I was some kind of freak. If people on the asexual spectrum had been widely considered to be queer at the time, even to the extent that they are now, I probably wouldn’t have had this painful experience. I would not have had to wonder what the fuck was wrong with me for so long and be as depressed as I was. So fuck you and your exclusivity. It’s because of queers like you that I had this experience, that others with a queer romantic orientation have this experience. There’s an equal chance that teens who currently identify with a sexual queer label are actually ace. I can’t imagine if I had thought I was gay and sexual, but I was actually an aromantic asexual. Obviously, many people really are queer and sexual, but the point is that you’re making false, ageist, anti-ace assumptions that can just as easily be flipped around. I won’t even bother with the “ace people aren’t oppressed” shit, because others have already thoroughly pwned you in that regard.
P.S. Thanks for leaving out gray-A people. Contrary to seemingly popular belief, not all gray-A people are demisexual. Nope, I’m hugely aesthetically and/or romantically attracted to a bunch of random people, but not sexually attracted to anyone at any point. But I would have sex with these same people if given the chance, because I like to look at and touch people’s bodies, and I like to be romantic. I also have a fetish that is unrelated to people. OMGWTFBBQ.
Thank goodness someone stood up to that post. Ugh I hate exclusivity, privilege and experience denial.
http://www.reddit.com/r/MLPLounge/comments/rzd57/this_is_basically_the_saddest_day_in_the_history/ (edit: There a bunch of new replies since I posted this, the ones I’m talking about are a month old.)
huhhh, apparently I shattered someone’s world by being…
BRONIES: Like things that were made for women/girls (Feminists LIKE that kind of thing) but what I don’t like is how you all make such a huge deal out of it like you’re ‘coming out of the closet’ or some shit.
1) Stop appropriating LGBTQ struggles.
2) You’re right it’s NOT considered bad for women to like things aimed at men and this is a problem for two reasons: most things in the media are aimed at men whereas womens’ interest stuff is considered to be ONLY for women, second reason being because stereotypically feminine stuff is considered to be inferior and it’s considered not acceptable for men to like them (lest their superior masculinity be marginalised) - and in my experience it tends to be other men who police that more than women do.
Also misandry *snort* shut up m8.
Gimme a break,
If you think you’re oh so righteous, use the actual term.
It’s called abortion.
It makes you “Pro-Abortion”.
I hate euphemisms for a reason.
You get an abortion.
You get an abortion!
EVERYBODY GETS AN ABORTION!
Yeah it’s like pro-choice people are forcing people with uteruses to do things that they don’t want to do. Oh nope wait isn’t that ‘pro-life’ ers?!
like ok what the fuck does that even mean
“standard” model: tall, thin, white, cis
“alternative” model: tall, thin, white, cis… tattooed, maybe glasses/hair-dye?
See, this is why I love Cosplay Deviants. The models are all heights, all sizes, all colors, all gender identities, and they’re all welcomed and drooled over. Besides that, it’s a warm and happy geek community for models and members alike.
Really? Because I went on cosplay deviants and the women featured on the front page were ALL white, tall and thin. I’m not going to speculate as to whether they were cis or trans* but nope, didn’t see any variety there.
Look, if you see a post where someone is questioning why white people do racist shit and the only damn thing you can think to say is “but I’m not like that”, you’re part of the god damn problem. Why? Because you have just successfully derailed the conversation and made it all…